


Politically  (In)Correct

by ozhawk, pretzel_logic



Series: The Soulmates Continue [11]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - I do what I want, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Because Deadpool, Crack, F/M, Hydra!Ian, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, Minor Character Death, crackfic, forgot these tags, rarepair, read the trigger warning notes, referenced Darcy/Ian, some BDSM themes, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-03-15 23:08:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3465452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozhawk/pseuds/ozhawk, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretzel_logic/pseuds/pretzel_logic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy's had an interesting day. First Captain America blows up SHIELD-that's-HYDRA. Ian turns out to be Hydra. Oh and Erik's mercenary friend that rescues her from Ian? He's her soulmate and goes by the name Deadpool. What is her life?</p><p>Formerly titled One Too Many Shocks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ozhawk's Original

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ozhawk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozhawk/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Soulmate Shorts AKA The Crackship Armada](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2658407) by [ozhawk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozhawk/pseuds/ozhawk). 



> I (begged) asked ozhawk permission to continue this Soulmate short of hers and she happily gave me the green light.
> 
> As mentioned in the original short, this story starts around the same day Captain America blows up Project Insight.
> 
> chapter's song: Britney Spears - Hit Me Baby, One More Time
> 
>  
> 
> **Ozhawk's TRIGGER WARNINGS: Darcy is being subjected to a sexual assault when Deadpool gets to her. And, um, there’s slapping. And hints of BDSM.**

                                                                                       

**artwork by ozhawk**

Darcy was staring at the TV in utter horror, her mouth hanging open. Captain America being declared a fugitive was one thing – Steve Rogers was a nice guy and there was no way he’d done what they were saying – but this shit was _fucked up_. She grabbed for her phone to text Jane, ask if she was watching this, before remembering that Jane was on Asgard with Thor. Her phone wasn’t there anyway. She pawed at the coffee table, turned her head to look.

_Huh, where’s my phone?_

A movement across the room made her look up. Ian was there, her phone in one hand – and a gun in the other.

“I’m sorry about this, Darcy.”

It took a couple of seconds for her to put it together. “You’re HYDRA.”

“I’m afraid so. And you’re now a hostage. Dr Foster will co-operate to keep you safe, and Thor will do anything for her. So put your hands on your head, Darcy. Nice and slow.”

Her Taser was in her purse. On the other side of the room. And Ian looked frighteningly competent with that gun. Darcy remembered, suddenly, how surprised she’d been when he proved not-useless in the fight against the Dark Elves.

_That was a Clue, Darcy, you moron. And now you’re screwed._

A few tears of rage ran down her cheeks as Ian cuffed her hands roughly behind her back, laughed quietly in her ear and licked her neck.

“Such a co-operative little girl.”

Sick with disgust, Darcy tried to turn away from him, but he shoved her against the wall, rough hands curving over her breasts. “How about once more for old times’ sake before I have to hand you over, sweet thing?”

“Get off me,” she choked, trying to bite him as he leaned in to kiss her. A cruel laugh was her only answer – and then a calm voice saying,

“Do as the lady says, buddy.”

Two heads snapped around in shock, took in the muscular blond guy in a red and black skinsuit crouched on the windowsill, a pair of long swords in his hands. And then Ian let go of Darcy and grabbed for the gun.

“Be with you in a minute, sweetheart!” the blond said cheerfully to Darcy, leaping off the windowsill. “Better take cover!”

She was too shocked to move. She’d always thought that _be with you in a minute, sweetheart_ , was the kind of thing some utter jerkoff would say to her, probably looking at her breasts while he dismissed her as unimportant in the grander scheme of things.

Not a superhero apparently here to save her from an extremely unpleasant fate.

Which he was doing extremely competently – and _impossibly_ – flicking bullets out of the air with his swords as Ian jerked the trigger. A couple of strides forward, a slight smile still on his handsome face, and Ian was sliding limply to the floor, lifeless body dropping off the bloodied tip of one of those long, wickedly sharp blades.

“Job done. Let’s get you out of those cuffs, sweetheart.” Wade wiped his katana clean, sheathed them both on his back and reached for the beautiful, curvaceous brunette. He couldn’t help but notice how magnificently her breasts jutted forward with her hands cuffed behind her like that. _Holy crap, look at those boobs. I wanna go down on my knees and worship those boobs…_

“I think you might be my soulmate.”

The small voice froze him just as he was picking the lock on the cuffs. He stared down into shocked blue eyes.

“In that case, I’m even happier I came to help out a damsel in distress,” Wade said slowly, forcing himself to concentrate on the lock.

“Why _are_ you here?”

“Erik Selvig called. Asked me to check up on you.”

“He has the strangest friends.”

“Better than yours, it seems,” Wade huffed, glancing at the dead body on the floor. “I gotta say you have terrible taste in men.”

“Says my soulmate.”

He couldn’t help a grin at her sass as one cuff clicked open. “Yeah. Well. I’m the dictionary definition of _terrible taste in men_ , sweetheart.”

Darcy found herself grinning too. _This is probably the most awkward soulmate-meeting in the history of the world. He just killed my traitor-boyfriend_.

“I’m thinking things are rather looking up in that department, actually. I’m Darcy.”

“I know.” Pretty brown eyes flicked up to hers for a moment, and then he carried on working at the other cuff. “Wade. Wade Wilson. Also known as Deadpool.”

He risked another glance at her face, saw that her jaw had dropped. “Want to pretend I didn’t say that last bit?”

“I might have had one too many shocks today,” Darcy said a bit weakly.

The other cuff popped open. “Yeah. Sorry about that. Not going to get any better. I need to get you out of here and leaving by the front door might not be wise.”

“What are you _ARGH_!” Darcy shrieked as he scooped her over his shoulder and leaped out of the window.

About ten of the most terrifying minutes of Darcy’s life later, they entered a completely different apartment – by the window again.

“Do you have an aversion to doors or something?” she panted angrily as Wade finally set her on her feet.

He tipped his head, apparently thinking about it. “No. But I don’t use them a lot.”

All the tensions of the day finally caught up with Darcy and her hand cracked out before she even thought about it.

Wade’s head snapped to one side. He brought it back slowly, her handprint blossoming red on his cheek, worked his jaw lightly and then grinned. His brown eyes gleamed as he slid slowly to his knees, put his hands behind his back and gripped his left wrist in his right hand.

“Hit me baby, one more time. Or lots. Please.”

_Oh. OH._

_He really is my soulmate…_


	2. Sex? Y/N?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Wade decide to move things to the bedroom...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter theme song: 'N Sync - I just Wanna Be With You
> 
> Trigger Warnings: I don't think there's anything.... uhm, hair-pulling? Casual kink negotiation?

                                                                                          **Following ozhawk tradition - have more Ryan Reynolds**

 

Darcy was not sure what to do. On one hand, soulmate literally kneeling at her feet begging for attention! On the other hand… Hydra, Hydra!Ian, and she _just_ met the previously mentioned soulmate. Who was the infamous Deadpool and somehow friends with Erik. Darcy’s brain was feeling more than a little frazzled so she went with her gut instinct.

 

Wade’s hair felt silky soft as she tugged on it with her right hand. Wade made a pleased noise as he tilted his head towards her hand and bent his neck to her in a way that promised submission. “Oh yeah,” Wade said as Darcy tightened her grip.

 

“How safe are we?” Darcy asked because hey, even if they were going to do this some things had to be asked.

 

Her soulmate was already pouting and starting to stand. Darcy glared and pulled sharply on Wade’s hair, he winced but, moved back into position with a smile. “We got an hour, maybe a little more before we will definitely need to get going. So does that mean we can do something or do you just wanna pull my hair? Cause that’s nice but-mmf.”

 

Shutting Wade up by kissing him? Best idea ever. Probably horrible positive reinforcement considering he was known as the ‘Merc with a Mouth’ but, Darcy did not think she’d be regretting it any time soon. He might not have a silver tongue - and _ew_ , the idea of ever kissing Loki was so gross, thanks brain - but, wow, he knew how to kiss. God damn.

 

She wanted that tongue on her. Darcy said as much and Wade’s eyes went huge as he made a strangled noise of pleasure. Looking down she understood why. Being that hard in skin-tight clothes had to hurt.

 

“I like that idea. I _really_ like that idea. May I, sweetheart? I swear I’ll blow your mind,” Wade promised, moving his hands to rest on her thighs, thumbs rubbing along her skin just above the top of her pants.

 

The feeling wasn't so much arousing as sexy. Wade made it so tempting just to have sex, right there and then. Figuring their kinks out was going to have to wait. "If we're doing this we're doing it on a bed and not a meter from a window where anyone could see us," Darcy ordered as she stood back up. She knew from experience floor sex was not fun and from even more experience there was no way she'd be able to stay standing.

 

Wade started pouting but playfully. "Not a fan of public sex?"

 

"Not for our first time."

 

"I can live with that," Wade said as he stood up with inhuman grace. Seriously, he had been kneeling and was rock hard as far as Darcy could tell, how did he manage that?

 

And was her soulmate as flexible as he was limber? Cause Darcy would need to find out. For science. Jane would approve after all the research she was doing with Thor. Gods bless science.

 

"Darcy? Sweetheart you with me?" Wade asked suddenly before grumbling, "My soulmate having hallucinations too is not funny."

 

"Just wondering where the bedroom is," Darcy lied quickly. _Celebratory soulmate-found sex now, serious talks later._

 

Wade leered at Darcy like he could read her mind before scooping her up bridal style. So this is what people meant by soulmate-honeymoon, Darcy thought as Wade carried her into the bedroom. He even placed her on the bed instead of dropping her.

 

"I'm keeping you," Darcy declared as Wade moved to kneel between her legs.

 

She expected him to give an exaggerated wink or some quip. Instead Wade just smiled as he carefully eased her pants off. He rubbed his hands up and down her thighs as he placed light kisses on her stomach, occasionally nipping, making her squirm and let out small hisses of breath as he slowly made his way down to her panties.

 

They were a red lacey number that matched her bra because she had been hoping to use them to convince Ian to try some non-vanilla sex. Then Ian turned out to be Hydra and Darcy was really grateful he never got a chance to see her in them.

 

"Think you can take those off without ripping them?" She had to ask because she really liked her panties and they were the only underwear she had at the moment.

 

Wade sighed mournfully. "I wanted to take them off with my teeth but, that'll rip the lace."

 

Oh. Now Darcy really wanted to see Wade do that. She opened her mouth to tell him to do it anyways when a sudden noise had them both freezing.

 

“Was that the front door?” Darcy asked quietly, trying not to alert any possible intruders to their location. Was it Hydra? Had they found them already?

 

Wade did not answer her, his face turned away from her as he focused on the noise. Eventually his body relaxed and Wade looked at her with a small, nervous but, relieved smile. “Just the flat owner.”

 

Flat owner? What flat owner?

 

“This place isn’t yours?” Darcy hissed out, incredulous. They were making out, working towards having sex on a stranger’s bed? What the fuck?

 

“What? No! Are you crazy?” Wade hissed back, his expression just as incredulous as hers. “Do you have any idea how expensive it is to live in London? No way could I afford a place this nice… and I kill people for a living,” he explained waving his arms in ways Darcy was fairly sure were meant to imitate swinging a sword and firing a gun.

 

"Yeah, okay, whatever. Let's just get out of here before we're noticed," _'or you'll do the explaining'_ went unsaid. Darcy was halfway off the bed when Wade picked her up and she knew exactly what was about to happen. "Wait! Wade! No!" She yelled, no longer worried about being caught.

 

They were already fleeing out another window.

 

"My Pants!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, white and yellow boxes or no white and yellow boxes?
> 
> edit: image up! Centering a line and THEN inserting the image works. (But highlighting an image and clicking the center alignment button in rich text doesn't. *jazz hands* HTML code people!)
> 
> edit 2: Thank you ozhawk for editing!


	3. Working Things Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy gets pants and drives off with Wade in attempt to flee Hydra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found a way to include the yellow and white boxes! Huzzah! For those unfamiliar with Deadpool, youtube has a ton of videos on him from his videogame that I think you should check out. I had to research a little bit for this chapter seeing as I’m not from England so if I’m wrong feel free to correct me.
> 
> Chapter’s theme song: Matchbox 20 - Unwell
> 
> Trigger Warnings: Um, none this chapter?

** **

**The Deadpool part of my muse goes 'toga, toga, toga'**

 

Wade smiled as he found another apartment with an open window. Even better it was on the fourth floor. For someone who had been in the mercenary business as long as he had it was easy to get the two of them safely inside. He was still having some trouble accepting the fact the complete babe in his arms was his soulmate. It just felt so unreal, like one of his hallucinations. … He was not hallucinating, was he?

 

 

 

 

 _Wait, what?_ Wade thought, his attention snapping back to Darcy to notice her pounding at his chest and yelling at him.

 

“I can’t believe you! Let go of me!” Wade obeyed instantly. He was opening his mouth to say something but Darcy was not finished. “You asshole! You could have let me get dressed before we left. I can’t believe you carried me half-naked through London!”

 

Stunned, Wade gazed downwards to see Darcy was indeed without pants, her pale long legs on complete display with her panties acting like a sexy red bow on top. He carried her through London, one of the most heavily monitored cities, like that.

 

 

 

 

“Babe, you are gorgeous,” Wade confessed as he moved his arms to touch those beautiful legs.

 

Darcy punched him, hard. It was a proper punch too, not aiming for his jaw like some rookie but his nose.

 

“I swear if I had my taser you’d be knocked out on the floor! Were you listening to me at all? Could you not hear the tone of my voice? I am _not_ happy with you Wade Wilson! What the hell makes you think you’re getting anything right now?” Darcy demanded but, the hands on her hips did not really project the angry image she wanted considering her pant-less situation.

 

It made Wade want to sink back to his knees and promise to do wicked amazing things to her, anything to get back in her good graces. “I can make it up to you,” he promised, remembering where they had left off before being so rudely interrupted.

 

“This place isn’t yours,” Darcy said but it sounded more like a question.

 

Wade frowned. “I told you I don’t own a place in London. I don’t own anywhere in England actually.”

 

“Then the only way you can make things up to me is if you get me pants!” Darcy snapped. With a huff she stomped away from him and slumped into a chair in the living room. “And shoes!”

 

Wade took a moment to look around the apartment. "Well~, it looks like someone female lives here or is at least dating whoever owns this place. So there's probably something here. If not I'll wrap you up in a blanket burrito and we can pretend you're my sick girlfriend and I'm overreacting. We'll get you clothes and food somewhere along the way. I'm thinking Mexican. Do you like Mexican? Are there even Mexican fast food joints in England? I want tacos!"

 

When Wade started talking Darcy had still been glaring at him. As he continued however, she went from scowling to gaping at him.

 

 

"Wow. Do you normally talk that much?"

 

"More usually!" Wade cheerfully admitted as he wandered into the bedroom. "But the authors were trying to move things along and not get bogged down by my dialogue. And meeting my soulmate was surprising. I mean I always knew I'd speak first, even before your mark appeared! I got to admit your words were predictable but also convenient. I mean no one is going to tell me I'm their soulmate unless we really are. You just don't lie about those things!"

 

Darcy did not say anything but he was pretty sure she was listening. The dresser had not revealed any pants but the closet... "Jackpot! Jackpot? Since when did I start saying jackpot? Who do I think I am, Dante?"

 

 

 

 

 _Focus._ Wade thought sharply as he browsed the closet. There was a nice pair of hiking boots that would probably fit Darcy with an extra pair of socks or two. No jeans but some black slacks and a belt would do for now. It was not like she was going to do any fighting. He grabbed everything Darcy needed before returning to the living room.

 

"Here you are beautiful! Some pants and boots. Say, where are my words? Not that I doubt you or anything but, I've seen good deal of you but no soulmarks," Wade asked as he set the clothes down, giving one last appreciative look at Darcy’s legs.

 

Darcy quirked an eyebrow at him as she picked up the clothes. "I could show you but that would defeat the purpose of getting dressed. What about you? Where are my words?" She asked curiously.

 

Wade was grateful her attention was on the clothes and not him. _Shit._

 

 

 

"Right cheek," Wade answered before he could think of something else to tell her. Confusion was clear in Darcy’s expression as she looked over his face until Wade let his smile grow big and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

 

"Oh. Oh!" She exclaimed before laughing. "I guess your ass has always been mine."

 

Wade bit his lip to help fight off a blush, Darcy sounding so possessive was hot. Except now he remembered why sex was a bad idea, he wanted to keep his soulmate. “Right! You got clothes. I got clothes. Road trip time. Come on, I got a friend of a friend who got us a rental to get us where we need to go.”

 

“We’re not just going to the airport and getting the hell out of this country?” Darcy asked so innocently and Wade mentally winced at the reminder she was a civilian and new to being hunted by evil organizations.

 

“You’re kind of naive about organizations like Shieldra but that’s okay. The next couple days will be a crash course. Lesson number one: all the easy exits are covered. Now come on, the faster we get a move on the faster we can get to safety,” Wade declared as he helped Darcy to her feet and led her out of the apartment.

 

“Oh, sure. _Now_ we use a door.”

 

~*~

 

Wade was honest when he said finding his soul mate surprised him into talking less. He had not stopped talking since the second apartment. Merc with a mouth was an understatement Darcy was beginning to realize. Wade only slowed down when a news report came on the car radio. It made his silences all the more intense. The radio hosts alarmed reports, heading quickly to panic, did not make the situation better.

 

“So why are we driving to the airport if we’re not grabbing a plane?” Darcy asked, trying to distract herself. Wade seemed to be an expert in randomly having conversations with himself when he wasn’t talking to Darcy.

 

Wade smiled at her. He smiled at her a lot but, Darcy was always a bit thrown by how happy his smiles were. “Let anyone else trying to track us down think we’re that easy. We’ll park this car and make a show of booking tickets. I’ll pay. Then we steal a different car and start heading for the Channel.”

 

“Oh. So we’re headed for the continent?” that made sense at least. England was an overgrown island and there were only so many ways to get off it. France and then wherever would give them more options until Thor and Jane or other good guys found them.

 

“Nope!” Wade said cheerfully, popping the ‘p’. “We’re going to Ireland. Tomorrow. We’ll lie low tonight at a hotel and catch a ferry in the morning. I got a friend that’s agreed to let us stay for a while at her family home. She’ll be excited to meet you.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“You bet! She’ll probably want to tell you all the dirt she has on me, which is a lot. Not that I know why she would bother, I make a spectacle of myself all the time,” Wade admitted and Darcy held back a snort. She doubted he meant it the way people usually did although given earlier today she was not entirely certain. Then Wade was talking to himself again and Darcy was starting to see why she was stuck driving. With the way Wade waved his arms about as he talked he was probably the least safe person behind a wheel.

 

Maybe now would be a good time to ask. Darcy just hoped the answer was not too bad. “Wade, who or what are you talking to?”

 

Silence. Darcy glanced over at Wade to see the conflicted expression on his face. Then he sighed. “Sometimes the boxes, sometimes the hallucinations.”

 

“Boxes? Hallucinations? What?”

 

Wade nodded eagerly, arms flailing about once more. “My brain’s a bit cluttered so I use the yellow and white boxes for extra space. They just developed personalities after a while. As for the hallucinations, I'm like Walter Mitty except I zone into a false reality instead of zone out to fantasy land.”

 

She considered that for a moment. "That doesn't sound good, Wade. Sounds kind of like schizophrenia."

 

"Well it's not like I can be tested for paranoia when so many people really are out to get me but, don't worry sweetheart I know what causes them and it's nothing that will kill me," Wade reassured her, going so far as to pat her shoulder.

 

 _You're just not going to tell me what causes them._ Darcy thought a little darkly. It made sense though, for Wade not to tell her right away. They'd only known each other for a little over... An hour. _God, yeah, save the heavy deep shit for later._ So she smiled and glanced slyly over at Wade.

 

"You keep calling me sweetheart, don't you know any other terms of endearment?"

 

Wade gasped loudly, moving a hand to cover his chest in exaggerated wounded motion. "I'll have you know I have a _ton_ of pet namesat my disposal!" Then Wade shrugged, looking a little embarrassed. "But I called you sweetheart when we first met, Darcy, it's part of my words. So you'll always be sweetheart to me. That one is officially taken by you, no others allowed to apply."

 

Darcy did not fight the blush or the pleased grin that gave her. Soulmates were no joke, Darcy was falling fast for hers, even if he did seem slightly unhinged, and it was obvious the feeling was mutual. "Thanks babe."

 

~*~

 

Darcy had never been so grateful for a bed. It might be a hotel bed and all kinds of skeevy but it was a bed. Between Ian, meeting her soulmate, and fleeing Hydra she was done with today and just wanted it to be tomorrow.

 

"Why are there two beds?" Darcy asked, stopping a little short at the sight.

 

"I'm not sleeping. Got to watch over you in case we're found. I need to be able to reach my guns and swords and they're not the comfiest sleeping companions," Wade explained even as he set his swords on the bed closest to the door.

 

"Oh," Darcy had hoped after all the misdirection and running around they had done today that they were safe for the evening. "I'll, uh, just get changed then," She muttered as she took the bags of quickly purchased clothes to the bathroom with her. She could have just changed in the room but she suddenly, desperately, wanted some time alone.

 

Everything that happened seemed to hit her all at once. Ian was dead. She watched him die. Her soulmate, who was a friend of Erik's, killed him. Yes, Ian was Hydra. He was going to rape her and then hand her over to Hydra to blackmail Jane and Thor. That didn't change the fact that she thought she knew him; had slept with him and was in a sort of intern-with-benefits relationship with Ian. Now someone she knew was dead and it wasn't even during a Thor-related crisis.

 

"Darcy, you okay in there?" Wade asked before coming in. "Oh, you're crying, why are you crying? Do you want a tissue, a hug? I give awesome hugs," Wade offered in a panic.

 

"I'm just... _Why do I even care he's dead?_ He was going to rape me and send me to Hydra. He was a scumbag, the guy I knew was a complete lie and I'm crying over him!" Darcy complained.

 

Wade hugged her then and he was so not lying about giving awesome hugs. "It's okay, sweetheart. Betrayals suck ass. Come on, get changed. I'll cuddle with you until you fall asleep."

 

Darcy laughed a little at that and rested her head against his shoulder for a moment. "That sounds like a great plan."

 

Between the sense of safety Darcy felt with Wade right there and his soft rambling, Darcy was pretty sure she fell asleep instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that ask, I used a free app for the ipad known as PicsArt for the boxes. I saved a pic of a big white space and used the app's 'callout' tool to create the boxes. I then uploaded to photoshop. Yes it was a lot of work but I wanted actual boxes goshdarnit. [] and {} just aren't the same.
> 
> To ozhawk - thank you for beta-ing!
> 
> To all non-Europeans - The Channel, aka The English Channel, is the body of water between Southern England and Northern France. It's about an hour and a half from London to the tunnels/ferry/etc. to cross it according to google maps. (EDIT) Alright so Ozhawk informed me LCY airport is small and not meant for international flight so Heathrow is the airport mentioned in chapter now. Still gives them plenty of time to drive to the airprort and then towards the Channel before driving wherever else Deadpool directed Darcy for food, supplies, and an inn/hotel/B&B.


	4. One Step Back, Two Steps Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the wait. Just a WARNING, I will be renaming this story Politically (In)Correct.
> 
> About some questions reviewers had...
> 
> 1\. Aside from Ryan Reynolds being the 'face claim' for Deadpool, Xmen Origins: Wolverine will be ignored. In fact, I have no clue what I'm talking about. What movie? Oh the 2016 Deadpool movie. Can't wait to see it.
> 
> 2\. Soulmates/Soulmarks: Humans get one or more as their mates are born. Guarantees you will meet. Asgardians and their SM develop soulmarks after first skin contact. All Soulmate Bonds can be platonic or romantic. They don't do anything special, cause that's special enough. However, Soulmates do tend to have a 'honeymoon' phase after meeting and that can result in sex.
> 
>  
> 
> **Trigger Warnings: some body horror (this is a Deadpool fic), praise kink, (and arguably humiliation kink. the short incident is left open to interpretation. That said all bdsm elements are still light in this chapter). If I missed something or you feel something should be added, let me know.**
> 
>  
> 
> theme song: Can’t Take My Eyes Off You by Lauryn Hill

 

**Here, have some more Ryan Reynolds**

 

Wade did not intend to spend the night holding Darcy. He had a plan, a good one!

 

 

 

 

“Shh. You might wake her,” Wade scolded absently as he double-checked Darcy was still asleep. She’d had a rough day and today was not likely to be any better. Wade doubted Hydra was ready to throw in the towel on capturing Darcy just yet. Hell, they might be after her even more once they figured out Deadpool was her rescuer.

 

Reluctantly, Wade disentangled himself from Darcy and headed to the bathroom. He did not like leaving Darcy alone, even a room away while he took a quick shower and everything else. Hydra could track them down at any time and being too far from Darcy made him nervous.

 

The feeling reminded him of all those chick flicks and trashy romance novels that blew soulmate connections way out of proportion. Not that he ever read or watched any of those. Golden Girls was his one and only.

 

 

 

“Alright, alright. I watch _some_ chick flicks and read some trashy romance novels,” Wade grumbled as he started the shower and then looked himself over in the mirror. The sight was pretty damn ugly.

 

 

Wade grimaced at the thought. He wanted Darcy to not freak out the second he showed her some skin below the neck. On the other hand, her finding his scars sexy and appealing actually seemed worse than the pity he feared. Neither box said anything but he could tell they felt the same. Glancing down Wade smiled a little bit. At least his soulmark was miraculously untouched.

 

_I think you might be my soulmate_ was written across his ass like a Made in China product label. Right beneath it was a jagged-edged scar acting almost like an underline. He always figured his soulmate had to be just a bit possessive, becasuse of way his mark just screamed ‘property of’.

 

 

Wade hummed as he thought over the previous day. Darcy really _did_ seem to be interested in him. She might be out of her element at the moment but he could tell as soon as she got her footing things were going to be amazing. Her expression when he got on his knees and asked her to punish him was definitely going to be spank bank material for a long time. Then when they were driving around she started to snark at him and Wade fell in love. He was really looking forward to spending a lifetime with her, as soon as he was sure Hydra wouldn't end her life prematurely.

 

As if on cue, Darcy started screaming.

 

\---

 

_She watched on the news as Helicarriers shot each other over D.C. She tried to look away, to flee. She knew what was going to happen next. Ian with a gun and her cell phone, and Darcy wanted to find her taser. She wanted to fight him and not rely on Wade to show up to rescue her. Except she could not move as events played out the same all over again._

_Until Wade did not show up and Ian kept touching her. His voice in her ear an unending litany of all the unwanted things he was going to do to her before he handed her over to Hydra._

_Darcy did not want this._

_Stop._

_No!_

 

Even as she screamed Darcy was never so grateful to wake up from a nightmare. As reality reasserted itself, she buried her face in her hands and wept. Vaguely she could hear Wade calling out to her before there was a warm presence hovering nearby. Without looking Darcy wrapped her arms around Wade's shoulders and continued to cry.

 

"Sh, sweetheart. It's okay. You're okay. Just a bad dream. I'm here, right here. Nothing's going to hurt you sweetheart, you're safe," Wade promised as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into a hug.

 

It was only as she started to calm down Darcy noticed Wade was shirtless. As she moved to push away from him her hands slid over his back and felt the bumps and divots that should not be there. Wade had been letting her move away but suddenly he was holding her tightly, keeping her in place.

 

"Aw, shit. That's nothing you want to be looking at, Darcy."

 

"You're a mercenary, you have scars. That isn't rocket science. I would know, working for Jane is skipping the rockets for wormholes science.... With the awesome motivation of true love with a space alien prince as opposed to Cold War politics and moon rocks," Darcy added because _Thor_. She did not stay with Jane for the science or life-threatening situations.

 

She could feel Wade smile against her neck. "Knowing I have them is one thing, seeing them is another, sweetheart."

 

She hit his shoulder lightly, "You're not going to keep me from seeing you naked forever. We're not platonic Wade. Might as well let me see now."

 

For a moment she thought Wade was going to move inhumanly fast and flee back to the bathroom. With some grumbling under his breath, Wade backed away enough to let her look him over. Her heart broke over what she saw; gunshot wounds, cuts, claw marks that looked like they came from a human hand, and an actual chunk of flesh just gone from his waist. The worst scar was over Wade's heart, looking like someone had tried to carve the organ out.

 

"Do they hurt?"

 

Wade looked over his own scars, poking a few of them before shrugging. "Some of them ache more than others. Maybe a one or two on my pain scale."

 

Darcy nodded as she rested a hand on the heart-carving scar. "The one who did this-"

 

"Dead. Don't you worry, Darcy," he promised as he captured her hand and raised it to kiss her fingers. "Thanks."

 

She was tempted to ask what for but, it was pretty obvious. People in general probably reacted badly to the scars, some of them were pretty nasty looking. They hurt just to look at, thinking how badly her soulmate had been injured over the years. She almost lost him a couple of times before she even had the chance to meet him.

 

"I'm going to taser anyone that comes after you. I don't care who they are, you're mine," Darcy promised. Really, what else could she say when the thought of someone going after Wade just to hurt him made her want to taser them in the crotch? Maybe, get Thor to use Mew-mew to bash their heads in for good measure?

 

Before Wade could open his mouth and ruin her moment, he totally would with the way he never stayed quiet, she pulled him into a kiss. She nearly broke the kiss to giggle when she heard him squeak in surprise.

 

Eventually Darcy pulled away, smiling at Wade’s pout. “So why are you naked?”

 

He looked sheepish then, waving a hand towards the bathroom behind him. Faintly, Darcy could hear the water running. “I was about to take a quick shower when you woke up.”

 

“Oh,” Darcy said as she took in the information. “Think the shower can fit two?”

 

Wade's eyes widened at the suggestion and his hands spasmed at her hips. Before that movement Darcy hadn't even realized she had started to straddle Wade during their kiss.

 

"I'd – uh, I'd like that a lot. Please?"

 

_I can tell_ , Darcy thought more than a little smugly as she smirked and ran a hand through Wade's hair, almost but not quite like she was petting him. "Well, aren't you a good boy, asking all politely."

 

With a sharp inhalation of breath from Wade, she had a moment to worry she’d made a mistake before he was trying to pull her impossibly closer to him and giving her a very passionate kiss. It probably would have been panty dropping if it lasted longer but Wade pulled away, the goddamn tease.

 

"Oh sweetheart, I'll be as good or bad as you want," he smirked at her.

 

_Well damn. Consider my panties dropped._ "Let's go get wet then," Darcy ordered and then let out a pleased squeal when Wade picked her up and carried her to the bathroom.

 

\---

 

Wade half expected Darcy to change her mind and leave the bathroom when he set her down. Everything was just going too well, he was hallucinating, right?

 

 

 

He was just about to laugh and say something back to the boxes when Darcy once more wrapped her arms around his neck. “You know, getting undressed is a lot more fun when there’s a sexy guy to help.” Her smile was downright devious and she even went so far to wiggle her eyebrows suggestively at him.

 

He really did laugh then, giving Darcy a quick peck on the lips as his hands slipped up over her hips and under her nightshirt. “You’re too good to be real,” he swore as he helped her get out of her top.

 

Darcy was already working on removing her sleep shorts as Wade stared in surprise at her chest.

 

 

 

“Jeez, are you getting first time jitters? Wade, hello,” Darcy asked waving a hand in his face for attention and when did she finish getting undressed? “You still want to do this?”

 

 

“You’re gorgeous! Incredible! And that’s my handwriting,” Wade finally managed. Those were his first words to her, in his handwriting, right below her breasts. He couldn’t help but gently brush his fingers across them in wonder. Having a soulmate, finally meeting her, how’d he get so lucky?

 

“Yeah, thought for _sure_ I’d hear those words as some guy stared down at my chest. I plan to dump a drink over your head,” Darcy admitted as she looked Wade over before grinning a Cheshire Cat smile. “And there’s _my_ words. I thought you were joking about them being on your ass.” He jumped a little when Darcy returned the favor and traced her fingers over his words.

 

“Uh, shower! We should get in. I mean we’re both naked now and we’ll never get in if we don’t go now. Or well, we can later but the water will be cold by the time we’re done if I don’t turn the shower off now. So maybe we sh-” Wade babbled because he was seconds away from giving up on shower sex and just having Darcy then and there. Darcy silenced him with a kiss. He did not notice she had gotten both of them into the shower until warm water started spraying down on them. “Oh, you’re _good_.”

 

Darcy looked up at him, amused. “Well, if I want your attention, apparently I’ve got to fight for it. Just so you know,” Darcy said as she pushed him against the far wall of the shower stall and wrapped a hand around his very happy dick, “challenge accepted.”

 

    “Oh, Jesus.”

 

“Definitely have your attention now, huh?” Darcy mused, giving him a few strokes. “Alright, be a good boy Wade and stay still. No bucking and keep your hands to yourself.”

 

_I have died and gone to heaven._ “And if I want to be a bad boy?”

 

“Then you get to finish what you started in that apartment yesterday and you’ll have to wait your turn," Darcy explained, adding a deft little twist to her hand movements that almost made Wade moan.

 

The idea of Darcy's mouth on him... "I can be good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Deadpool's scars. Anyone familiar with Vash the Stampede from Trigun? That's the degree of scarring I imagine for Deadpool ([warning, nsfw & body horor](http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/trigun/images/9/9c/605_1_605_Trigun_Maximum_v01_c01_021.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120829204321)). Now, why is Deadpool's scarring different from canon?
> 
> 1\. Deadpool’s canon scarring can be triggering in a matter of body horror. I feel the way I’ve changed things up makes it less triggering. (I hate gore/horror so this is as much for me as others)
> 
> 2\. Deadpool's scars are from his life pre-healing factor. The wounds were already healed when his healing factor activated so while it may lessen the scarring over time it's unlikely to ever fully heal the scars.
> 
> 3\. Heart scar. Okay, so in one of Deadpool’s origin versions, his powers did not activate until someone stabbed him in the heart/tried to rip his heart out. I decided the wound scarred since it was pre-healing even if it was what triggered the super healing.


End file.
